Here’s the point: whatever you’re holding onto, let it go.
Here’s the story: when I first got into the MTC I was weirded out that no one had a personality. Everyone was dressed the same and acted the same and yeah… I thought it was unnatural and eerie. Then, over time, I realized it wasn’t that our personalities were gone, rather all those outward things we rely on to express ourselves were stripped from us. That required you to actually spend time in a conversation with someone in order to know who they were and how they defined themselves.
Then… I got dumped into a foreign country, doing something I’d never done before. So, however my trainer did it I was down with. I thought that’s how missionary work was done around the island. Next up, comes my second companion. Again, everything I knew and thought about missionary work was turned on its head and I was left to pick up the pieces. By my third companion, I thought I had it sorted… and through the fourth, I solidified my identity. I was successful, I had lots of good solid contacts, wonderful new investigators, I threw a fit every once in a while when Elders weren’t being Elders… 😉 Then came the sixth, and that all went out with the water. Numbers went down the drain and I was left with no public markers of success to definte myself by.
And now we’re at the sixth. Dai Jiemie. She was with me for her first three days on island and the two of us have taken what we thought of each other then (woe! incredible! confident! spiritual! grounded! hard worker! etc…. )and just added (magically!) this ability to speak Chinese, and put it into XinZhu with our heart and soul. The only thing we use to define ourselves is our relationship with God. Every decision is based on one criteria only — is this what God wants me to do right now? If it’s a Yes… go and do. If it’s a no… stop and reevaluate. This means always being worthy of the guidance of the Holy Ghost, also actively seeking His inspiration.
It’s a whole new outlook on life, and riding home I sorted out how to best describe it. When you approach a red light, what’s your first thought? Normally… it’s one of exasperation. “Ugh. Wasting time! I really have to be somewhere right now. Somewhere just beyond this light!” Well, when you manage to let everything go, and recognize that God’s in charge, your outlook on red lights becomes something like this: “Ok. Headed to Place A and we’re gonna get there… but the next 30 seconds have a purpose. There’s someone right here right now that God needs me to talk to.”
I sound delusional, and that’s fine… but let me tell you. This week, every time we’ve needed to get somewhere fast — ALL green lights ALL the way across XinZhu. That’s impossible! Every local of every age tells me that. And it’s happened every day at least once, sometimes twice. And at every red light, we’ve seen a current investigator, a member, a former investigator, a person we met a couple days ago in a completely different part of town. Sometimes the formers are ones that we’ve been meeting with and dropped, sometimes from a really long time ago. It’s all because we know that God loves us, and God loves everyone around us. He’s the master planner and can schedule like… well, like God. 😉
So, give up whatever plans you have for your time and see what God thinks. First, He’ll tell you how He feels about YOU. Sometimes, that’s going to take you changing some things in order to bring yourself back on track. Takes humility and patience and really understanding the repentance process. Once you’re prepared though, He can and will use you to change other’s lives. And through being His partner in that process, you’ll come to understand even more deeply how much He loves you. It’s an infinite loop of blessings, really.
Back to the point: whatever you’re holding onto…. your money, your house, your concept of success, your emotional baggage, your tradgedies, your successes, your trophies, and your secrets. Just let it go. Start from scratch. Ask God what He thinks you should be doing. Then just do it.
Mmm… Yes. Such a good feeling. 😀 It tastes good.
Have a GREAT week and love every moment of your life. I do! Typhoons and all. 😀
Hua Sheng Jiemei